Do you nag your kids for studies, cleaning the house, doing the dishes, behaving properly, putting their toys away and the nagging list goes on? Nag or not to nag kids is a big question doing rounds for a very long time. Every few years some study come up in the support of the other. Just last week a study of 3450 students from Sydney university, published in Teachers College Record, a US journal, came up with the conclusion that nagging does work. Every child gets influenced by two factors in life, first one is parents and teachers and the second one is their friends and role models. Influence of parents and teachers has a significant impact on a kids academic life while friends and peers has a big say in their social and emotional well being.

Now the question arises how much nagging is necessary? Lets go back a generation and ask how much nagging did your parents do? Did that nagging help you in what you are today? Some of you may not agree with their nagging. Just like the studies conducted in the different countries do not agree with each other on the topic. As parents all we want for our kids is to give them the best, give them everything that we didn’t get ourselves when we were kids. Therefore we have to set up a limit to nagging and strike a balance so that the child gets the best out of it and does not stress out.

Lets start with the reality, nagging does work and I completely agree with the study of Sydney university researcher Andrew Martin. “Parents and teachers who might feel powerless during adolescence have a bigger influence on academic motivation than they think – sometimes up to three times the impact of peers”, Martin said. But I have to add, it works only if done in a right way. For example take all those advertisements that are targeted towards our kids, during kids programming on the television. These companies have spent a lot of money on the research to get that one advertisement right. That advert goes straight to their head and they want to have that product, its the result of their continuous nagging and hitting the right spot with the kids. That’s right, if we want our kids to listen to us and do as we say we have to come up with the strategy that they learn, nothing comes for free. For example, if they finish their homework they can go out and play with their friends. You may have to nag few times but than they know unless they have finished their homework they can not do what they want. Same can apply to kids cleaning their room, helping you in the house and everything else. Remember kids have a lot of energy and lots of activities to do, so through nagging you can work around in a way that they get what they want within limits and you get what’s best for them. Magic rule “Do not make FALSE promises, STICK to whatever you have PROMISED”. These are innocent kids and if you play with their innocence they will never forget it and you will be in their bad books and soon they will stop listening to you.

Sometimes make the exceptions when they are really nice to you and they are rushing around to get everything done because something really important to them is happening or about to happen. They will really appreciate that and forget all the nagging you do. Take some time out to sit down with them and try to explain them why do you have to nag, try to explain to them what are the importance of things that they do. This way your nagging will work without stressing the child out. My personal experience tells me that nagging is very important in the early childhood, after that kids learn if they do this than they will get to do that. If they can create an interest in the studies in the early childhood that means less nagging from you when they are growing up.

Here’s a really cool game for all the parents. Get a calender. There are 365 days a year. Say every day has a value of 25 cents. Tell your kids you will mark the calender if they have been good or bad. The number of days they have been good will be equivalent to the amount of 25 cents that they have earned for their Christmas presents or their Birthday presents. Do not forget to total up at the end of each month, so the kids know how much they have earned. It will be a great motivation for them because the can see what they are earning for being good. Have fun.

I will soon post an article about the influence of friends on your child.

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How is the dinner time like in your home?

Do the family members heat up their own meal in the microwave and have them whenever they feel like it?

Having meals together has become a thing of the past. Families used to gather around and have at least two meals together, breakfast and dinner. Blame it to the busy lives, independence or family conflicts. We are forgetting the benefits of family meal time, its a very effective way to keep the communications door open avoid conflicts and raise healthy and smart children. It’s the perfect time and place to reconnect and to show your kids that they are your priority. In the recent years, if you seek parenting advice or ask for family counseling, they will stress the need for family meal times. Many researchers have pointed out the health benefits, academic benefits and overall child development directly related to family mealtime.

Sitting across the table is where and when you can find out more about your children’s likes, dislikes, and daily life. Having this information can help you direct your children toward positive activities and behavior. Sharing family meals also offers nutrition benefits. Parents always serve as role models, observing you having healthy meals and nutritious meals, kids tend to do the same. Experts believe that if families would gather around the dinner table more often, the benefits to children such as improved academic performance and higher self-esteem would abound. Change the attitude, dinner table should serve as more than the dinner table, strike a conversation, talk about each others lives and each others day, and rediscover each family member.

Research shows that for preschoolers, family mealtime is one of the most important times to connect with parents. Good mealtime habits formed early will benefit children throughout life. Children spending more time at the family meals tend to eat less junk and more healthy food. A study done at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital found that those teens who ate with family members an average of at least five times a week, were less likely to fall victim of eating disorder and other risky addictions as alcohol and drugs. Family conversations at the dinner table also help kids to have strong family connections and avoid the risk of falling victim to depression.

Benefits of family meal time go beyond the behavior trends of your kids and teens, they even affect the academic results of your kids. Studies conducted at Columbia University also found that teens who ate regular frequent family dinners were 40% more likely to get A’s and B’s in school than teenagers whose families ate separately.

Tips to promote family mealtime:

• Do your shopping weekly, so you have enough time to prepare meals.

• Involve kids in the shopping. Gives you an idea what kids want to eat. They will like to eat things when there choice is available.

• Avoid shopping junk food. Shop for healthy snacks and fruits for after school snack.

• Involve kids in the cooking process, it will save time as well as teach kids about healthy cooking.

• Don’t force kids to eat more.

• Turn the TV off and have a family conversation.

• Linger over the conversation and the food over the table, just to spend time together.

• Let eating together become one of the threads that holds the fabric of the family together. Make commitment and time to sit down for family dinner at least two to three times a week.

Check out these helpful articles on benefits of family meal time.

Get involved: Importance of family mealtime
Family mealtime article by West Virginia University
Free “Make mealtime family time kit”Study by Columbia    University: The Importance of Family Dinners IV