Have you ever watched “Fosters Home for Imaginary Friends” on Cartoon Network? It has more than 2000 imaginary characters and the show has taken the kids world by storm in its first year itself. Did it make you think how many imaginary friends live in your house? You may argue it depends on individual “Parenting Style”, or it does not occur for “Preschool Children”, or even that it appears only in “Kids Stories”. I have been digging into this mystery and it’s answers for a while now.

A peek into one of the most intriguing childhood mysteries reveals that imaginary playmates are a staple of early development and persist well into the school years, later than researchers once thought. It is estimated up to 65 per cent of children will have an imaginary friend, generally from the age of three to nine years – and these kids tend to be more creative, or a first-born or only child.

There are lots of different types of imaginary friends, it can be an “invisible friend”, someone only the child can see, but it can also be a “personified object” like a toy figurine, a teddy bear or even an innocent doll, that have real and immense person-like attributes for the child. Sometimes the imaginary friend acts as a child’s alter-ego, taking the blame for the toys that didn’t get picked up or saying “bad words”, causing “behavior problems”. Sometimes the imaginary friend is just a wonderful playmate. Most kids, sooner or later, come to realize their make-believe buddies are not of this world and imaginary friends fade away but some studies have found that kids as old as 12 having imaginary friends.

This phenomenon is really misunderstood. It was always thought that its rare, child must be having problems, kid must be seeing invisible people like ghosts. Those days are gone when psychologists and parents started to worry about children’s well being after knowing about an imaginary friend. Pretend play is vital to children’s development. Imaginary friends are just an extension of pretend play, which is a normal, healthy and important part of a young child’s development. Pretend play gives children a chance to learn about roles, relationships, power, and control. Pretend play also gives children a chance to work through the multitude of feelings they experience daily. Although make-believe was long considered the realm of little girls, now it’s clear that both sexes engage in fantasy play, with some gender differences.

Main reason for having imaginary friends as believed by researchers is, loneliness, where the kid does not have access to friends. Not being able to interact with people and put his thoughts forward, makes the child to start talking to the toys and imaginary friends. The child has no fear or inhibitions talking to someone that’s so close to the reality. Children are testing and answering their curiosities when they interacted with an imaginary friend. They gain communication skills by having one side of the conversation but also inventing their imaginary friend’s side of the conversation. Children learn the complexities of spoken expression sooner with the help of an imaginary friend. They can act as a child’s trusted confidant when there’s no one else to tell their secrets to. Believe it or not even small children have issues that are too private to tell us, watch your child making up stories and try to analyze them. Dig into those stories with extra “Interest”.

As it is normal to have imaginary friends, it is also important for the parents to keep control over those imaginary friends. Use your parenting discipline powers, sometimes these imaginary friends can tell your kid to go for a walk without letting you know or may be, to throw things around. Here are some rules you can make for your child and the imaginary friend:

Don’t let the imaginary friend be your child’s only companion. Kids need to socialize with other children for their own development and learning. If your child does not have any friends and does not show any interest in having friends, talk to the teacher or the doctor and help him/her out.

Don’t let your child shift responsibility for every wrong thing they do to the imaginary friend.

Treat the imaginary friend with respect. This means remembering the name, greeting and wishing good on the occasions. Apologizing when don’t see the imaginary friend standing in your way.

Don’t use imaginary friend to manipulate your child, your child will start hating that confidant imaginary friend as well.

Have fun yourself and let the child have fun as well with the imaginary child.

Here’s the link to games and activities based on “Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends” on “Cartoon Network”

From the day we are born till the end of life we are in relationships with many people. To deal with these relationships in flawless ways we need to master the social skills. Social skills are the basic building blocks of our life from playground to school and in our adult life. Social skills need to be taught and learned. In fact we learn or refine one or another social skill on everyday of our life. Unless parents learn how to build a loving, stable and peaceful relationship with each other, they probably won’t build a good relationship with their children. Developing social skills in the kids will start from the very early stage and it will include:

Listening

Being patient

Respecting themselves, others and things around them

Being cooperative and team player

Sharing and taking turns

Caring and helping others

Good and positive communication

Conflict resolution

Participation and focusing on the task

Learning from failure

Adjusting to the differences of society

Analyzing the difference between good and bad

Social skills are lifelong survival skills. If we dont teach kids the right skills from the beginning, as they grow up they may find themselves out of place, many times in life. It can also make a difference with your child liking and adjusting to the school, new friends, new classes or dropping out from school.

You have just brought your baby home and you are thinking about ways to further the bond between you while stimulating babies brain to begin teaching about the joys of learning about the world around them. Here are a few brain developing activities for your newborn to six month old.

1. Massage your baby in a soft relaxing way. There are courses and books on this subject that are worth looking into.

2. Do baby stretch sessions. Slowly straighten legs and arms. In the beginning do not completely straighten them as it can be painful for new born. If you are gentle you may both enjoy this.

3. While you are changing or carrying the baby, talk to them. Tell them what you are doing. They will learn about the language and how to speak. By pausing at the end of sentences you will also teach baby about conversation and speech patterns.

4. Many parents speak in a dramatized higher pitched way when they are talking to their baby. This is called parent-teese and has been shown to stimulate the brain and teach language skills faster.

5. Sing to your baby. With the repetition of the same songs your baby will learn about predictability.

6. Show your baby simple picture books. They should be in bright colors and no more than two or three objects on a page so that baby’s brain doesn’t get overwhelmed.

7. Peek-a-boo teaches a baby about object permanence and that even if they can’t see you, you are still there. This leads to trust which is fundamental to your relationship.

8. Imitate facial expressions and baby’s sounds. They will learn that they can have an affect on their environment.

9. Vary your baby’s positions at least every half hour when they are awake. Sit and lay them in different positions and different spots. This will expose them to different areas of their environment and also prevent boredom and crying.

10. To practice hearing take a rattle and shake it off to one side and behind. They will begin to focus on the sound and try to find the object.

11. Give baby lots of different things to touch. Make sure nothing is too rough, but expose baby to different fabrics and textures.

12. Lay baby on the back and hang some colourful toys at a distance of 30 to 40 cm. Baby will learn how to focus on the objects.

13. Let baby sit on your lap or if it is still very little lay across your thighs. Bounce your legs up and down softly. Many babies love this. It teaches about motion.

14. Give baby several safe toys to explore with their mouth, vary these toys throughout the day.

15. Clapping games and active songs are fun for baby as they gets older. Perform the actions with the baby, it will be a good exercise.

16. Point out animals in the environment, state the name and tell baby the sound. Sometimes babies pick up the sounds long before they will actually be able to say the name.

17. Sometimes baby may seem overwhelmed. It is a good idea to have a little quiet time each day. Darken the room, sit in a rocker and softly sing or just sit quietly. This will teach techniques to calm you both.

18. Take babies for walks to give them fresh air and introduce them to new experiences.

19. Read rhyming poetry and nursery rhymes to introduce rhythms and patterns.

20. Tell your babies you love them and soon they will learn what it means and before long they will be able to reciprocate that love back to you.