Have you ever watched “Fosters Home for Imaginary Friends” on Cartoon Network? It has more than 2000 imaginary characters and the show has taken the kids world by storm in its first year itself. Did it make you think how many imaginary friends live in your house? You may argue it depends on individual “Parenting Style”, or it does not occur for “Preschool Children”, or even that it appears only in “Kids Stories”. I have been digging into this mystery and it’s answers for a while now.

A peek into one of the most intriguing childhood mysteries reveals that imaginary playmates are a staple of early development and persist well into the school years, later than researchers once thought. It is estimated up to 65 per cent of children will have an imaginary friend, generally from the age of three to nine years – and these kids tend to be more creative, or a first-born or only child.

There are lots of different types of imaginary friends, it can be an “invisible friend”, someone only the child can see, but it can also be a “personified object” like a toy figurine, a teddy bear or even an innocent doll, that have real and immense person-like attributes for the child. Sometimes the imaginary friend acts as a child’s alter-ego, taking the blame for the toys that didn’t get picked up or saying “bad words”, causing “behavior problems”. Sometimes the imaginary friend is just a wonderful playmate. Most kids, sooner or later, come to realize their make-believe buddies are not of this world and imaginary friends fade away but some studies have found that kids as old as 12 having imaginary friends.

This phenomenon is really misunderstood. It was always thought that its rare, child must be having problems, kid must be seeing invisible people like ghosts. Those days are gone when psychologists and parents started to worry about children’s well being after knowing about an imaginary friend. Pretend play is vital to children’s development. Imaginary friends are just an extension of pretend play, which is a normal, healthy and important part of a young child’s development. Pretend play gives children a chance to learn about roles, relationships, power, and control. Pretend play also gives children a chance to work through the multitude of feelings they experience daily. Although make-believe was long considered the realm of little girls, now it’s clear that both sexes engage in fantasy play, with some gender differences.

Main reason for having imaginary friends as believed by researchers is, loneliness, where the kid does not have access to friends. Not being able to interact with people and put his thoughts forward, makes the child to start talking to the toys and imaginary friends. The child has no fear or inhibitions talking to someone that’s so close to the reality. Children are testing and answering their curiosities when they interacted with an imaginary friend. They gain communication skills by having one side of the conversation but also inventing their imaginary friend’s side of the conversation. Children learn the complexities of spoken expression sooner with the help of an imaginary friend. They can act as a child’s trusted confidant when there’s no one else to tell their secrets to. Believe it or not even small children have issues that are too private to tell us, watch your child making up stories and try to analyze them. Dig into those stories with extra “Interest”.

As it is normal to have imaginary friends, it is also important for the parents to keep control over those imaginary friends. Use your parenting discipline powers, sometimes these imaginary friends can tell your kid to go for a walk without letting you know or may be, to throw things around. Here are some rules you can make for your child and the imaginary friend:

Don’t let the imaginary friend be your child’s only companion. Kids need to socialize with other children for their own development and learning. If your child does not have any friends and does not show any interest in having friends, talk to the teacher or the doctor and help him/her out.

Don’t let your child shift responsibility for every wrong thing they do to the imaginary friend.

Treat the imaginary friend with respect. This means remembering the name, greeting and wishing good on the occasions. Apologizing when don’t see the imaginary friend standing in your way.

Don’t use imaginary friend to manipulate your child, your child will start hating that confidant imaginary friend as well.

Have fun yourself and let the child have fun as well with the imaginary child.

Here’s the link to games and activities based on “Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends” on “Cartoon Network”