Forcing kids to study and do their homework is a very conflicting topic. Even though we know education is paramount for their survival in this modern world. Conflict arises with the questions, “How much homework and studies at home is not too much?”, “Are they getting enough time to relax and rejuvenate their bodies?”. There will be many of you who may have written on the blogs or in your personal diaries hidden somewhere down the earth in a little lunch box, how you felt when your parents forced you to study. How much you hated the school and how much you hated your parents?. This will be the story of most of the people who have been to the school. As kids we made lots of friends at school and than we wanted to do the best things that kids love to do, PLAY. Parents got angry at us for not doing our homework, not getting good grades at school and as a result parents forcing us to study hard to get better grades. The list goes on to show that anger, that we felt towards our parents or teachers for forcing us to study.

Now all of you are educated and smart people, sitting in front of your PC or laptop and reading this article after doing a lot of digging on the internet on this topic. I am not saying that forcing kids to study is right, neither I am denying it. Only thing I want you all to ask yourselves is, no matter how much you hated your parents and schools and so on, Will you be what you are today, if they didn’t force you to study? Some of you may be feeling very angry with me right now because you may have been forced too much. Sincerely I feel sorry for you and I am sure as parents you will rectify those things that you didn’t like in your childhood. Many of you will agree that your parents gave you the right direction and helped you by forcing studies, because at that tender stage you didn’t know what was right for you.

Like I have said many times before, As parents we want to give everything that we didn’t get as kids, whether its education, toys, comfort or even time. Trust me that was exactly the same, what your parents were thinking at that time. They were not your enemies and you will not be enemies of your kids either but your kids will say the same things to you as well. Every new generation comes up with new ideas, new methods of doing everything in better and different ways and the best part is they do succeed in doing so. What we forget is underneath every strong building is a very strong foundation. That forcing of studies does finally pay off.

For us to be better parents and have smarter kids, the question is, How much should we force our kids to study. We have to set up the limits to not to stress the kids and not to hate us as parents. You don’t want to be in a situation when your child is sitting in front of the books all day and learning nothing. Kids are given enough homework at school. In almost every country the education departments, child welfare agencies, parents and teachers have had this discussion, how much homework should the child get and how much time should they spend after school in studies. The purpose of homework is to help children consolidate what was taught that day in the class. A pretty good argument, but is this homework so much that it doesn’t give your kids any time to play and relax and causing burn out. Same amount of homework for one child can be 20 minutes and may be an hour for another.

As parents we have to sit down with our kids and see how are they doing with their homework, if they can finish it within an acceptable period of time than don’t force them to study. If they are taking longer than may be they are not understanding the concept or they are simply not interested in it. This is when they need help and may be little bit of forcing. If you force your kids too much they will not learn anything. They will miss out on their playing time and as a protest they will choose not to learn anything knowingly because in their brain its their fun time that’s been spoiled by the homework. There is no textbook solution to this problem, every child is different and has different capacity of understanding the concept and grasping the knowledge. Forcing alone will not help the child, making the topic easy, interpreting it in a different way will help the child in understanding and keeping their interest. Soon your child will start thinking of these hard topics in a different way with your help. Key is spending time with them and helping them with studies. For the long term goal, it is more important that your child understands the concept in a practical way rather than just doing their homework for the sake of it. Practical way is the one that stays with us forever, books and subjects are forgotten with time.


Forcing studies becomes necessary only when your child does not have any interest in studies for whatever reason. Even in this case it is advisable to talk to the teachers or get some outside help, rather than forcing it is more important to know why your child is not showing interest in studies. Try reasoning with them to find out the problem. Its very simple if somebody force us to do something, we don’t like to do it either unless we know and understand the valid reason for it.

Little bit of force is necessary as kids brain is still developing and needs proper nurturing to go on the right path in the future. If you don’t help them and show them the right path, everything they do will be right for them which can be a dangerous situation. If you force them too much than they may rebel and hate school, hate studies and more important hate you. Make sure your kids are not overloaded with homework from school and have enough time to play and relax to rejuvenate their brain and body.

Have fun with your kids. Understand them and avoid forcing the studies. Being friends with them will help you understand their attitude. You can also try using some of the free online teaching tools for studies at home.

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