How important are manners and etiquette’s in this modern world and child development? Most of the good schools require kids to have proper child manners and child etiquette’s. “Military Schools” and “Private Schools” are very strict about this and most of them have extra classes to teach kids proper manners and etiquette’s. Not only that there are etiquette schools, etiquette classes and even etiquette consultants to teach, train and arm our kids as well as the adults with modern manners and classic etiquette’s.

Children are reflections of their parents. On special occasion’s, gatherings, parties or visiting friends and relatives parents expect their children to show proper manners and etiquette’s, be polite and respectful. Manners and etiquette’s cant be learn overnight its a gradual process and needs a lot of time and patience from the parents. Teachers as well as senior adults have noticed and raised the voice that, children now a days show very little respect and manners than previous generations. Parents manners and etiquette’s help develop childrens manners and childrens etiquette’s. When teaching child manners, do not overload a child with many lessons at once, deal with one or two at a time so that they can grasp it in full detail. Do not ever tell them “Do it because I say so.”, you have to explain them “Why it’s not right?”, What will be the benefits of doing the right things?”. Please don’t forget to praise them for doing the right thing, it will be just like, if you work very hard at your job and not being praised or rewarded for it.

Etiquette training starts at an early age, kids learn by observing things and behavior of people around them. Parents discipline and parents manners will set the right examples, you are the one who is their first influence, first learning example. If you talk with mouth full of food, they will notice that and assume its right to do so. Family manners and etiquette’s are all those little things that we do everyday, around kids at home or outside. If the parents do not force the family manners and follow them themselves it will make a big difference later in the kids life. Rules should be equal for everyone in the house, than only kids will respect you and each other.

The way they behave is the way they are treated. Remember the magic word “REWARD”, its the key to teaching manners to young kids. Reward doesn’t have to be financial or a gift. Reward can be your love to them, may be just a hug and a kiss, praising them for what they did, may be taking them along for a bike ride or shopping, may be allowing them to go and play with their friends. In the end for every good deed they need to be rewarded to understand the importance of doing the right things.

Parent’s role in teaching child manners

As I said before, kids learn by watching adults around them. Parents manners and family etiquettes, therefore play a huge role in teaching child manners and etiquette’s.

Respect:

Your parenting style has a lot to do with respect. Treating children with respect teaches kids to respect others and you. Talk kindly to your children and they will learn how to talk kindly to others and you. It is also helpful to talk to children regarding how to respond in specific situations to better prepare them for when these situations arise.

Sharing:

Share with your kids so they can understand the importance of sharing with others. Compliment them when you see them sharing with others.

Politeness:

Everyone in the family must practice “please” and “thank-you” policy in which, for example, no request is considered unless the person asking says “please.” When one of your children forgets, just say “Where are the magic words?”. They soon catch on. You can teach them to say “thank you” in the same manner.

Apologizing:

In the begining children are always shy to apologise, but before the age they become stubborn to apologise parents should encourage children to apologize, when they do something wrong. Apologies should be sincere. If they are not comfortable apologizing face to face, they should write an apology note. Good judgment should be used by the parent as to when an apology is appropriate.

Compliment:

Emphasize the right thing to do and compliment your children when they exhibit good manners, rather than criticizing them for using poor manners. Praise is a wonderful teacher. Tell your children how proud you are when you notice them being polite.

Model the manners:

Remember your child is watching you every moment and will learn to do everything that you are doing, so watch out for your own actions.

Instruct in small doses:

Teach manners in a step by step process. For example, telephone manners or telephone etiquettes, begin instructions with “hellos” and “good-byes,” then teach asking the caller to “please wait, I will go and get my mum” and in the end , guide children to take messages. Dining etiquettes or table manners are another important learning task. Try in small step by step process as well, for instance begin with how to sit properly on the table, to how to hold cutlery and in the end teach them how to set up the dinner table and serve the guests.Try step by step process with other manners as well.

Keep kids healthy:

Children tend to show bad manners or mis manners and etiquettes when they’re tired or hungry. Kids need proper sleep and nutritious foods to survive. If you think you will be having late night at the family gathering, make sure your kids have an afternoon nap to cope with the late night stress instead of misbehaving.

Be patient:

Don’t expect perfection overnight. As with any skill being taught, there will be mistakes along the way. Learning is a trial and error process. We all learn from our mistakes. Give your kids enough time and opportunity to learn and grasp new skills. As I said before young children or teen kids they are the reflections of their parents. As a parent we all want to give them the best, but sometimes we are not fully equipped with all the information. If you feel you are stuck with some questions feel free to take “parenting advice”. There are many “Child Care Services” that help young parents with free Parenting Advice.

Have a happy parenting.

If you are consistently caring and compassionate, it’s more likely that your children will be too. Children watch their parents, and other adults, and learn how to behave. Some studies have shown that children can show signs of empathy and concern from a very early age. The most important thing you can do is to let your children know how much it means to you that they behave with kindness and responsibility. When you catch your child doing something that’s not right, you should let them know right away that you don’t want them doing that ever again. Speak to your child firmly and honestly, and keep your focus on the act, not on the child. Make them understand that all living creatures should be treated with dignity and concern. As it’s important to let them know how strongly you feel about their unkind acts, it’s important to let them know how highly you regard their kind ones and reward them.

From the day we are born till the end of life we are in relationships with many people. To deal with these relationships in flawless ways we need to master the social skills. Social skills are the basic building blocks of our life from playground to school and in our adult life. Social skills need to be taught and learned. In fact we learn or refine one or another social skill on everyday of our life. Unless parents learn how to build a loving, stable and peaceful relationship with each other, they probably won’t build a good relationship with their children. Developing social skills in the kids will start from the very early stage and it will include:

Listening

Being patient

Respecting themselves, others and things around them

Being cooperative and team player

Sharing and taking turns

Caring and helping others

Good and positive communication

Conflict resolution

Participation and focusing on the task

Learning from failure

Adjusting to the differences of society

Analyzing the difference between good and bad

Social skills are lifelong survival skills. If we dont teach kids the right skills from the beginning, as they grow up they may find themselves out of place, many times in life. It can also make a difference with your child liking and adjusting to the school, new friends, new classes or dropping out from school.